Archives for posts with tag: Relationships

I usually like to go out running to get away from the stress and whatever might be bothering me. It’s at that time I would rather be listening uplifting and positive topics. Recently A, someone whom I used to run with decided she needed to get back into running and asked me if I would like to go with her. I had my doubts because as before it’s a start stop thing and she is never in it for long or doesn’t take it seriously. A doesn’t run, she walks, gossips, all conversations are basically what others are doing to her, complains about everything and everyone and maybe a two-minute jog in between. I don’t enjoy it, which is why I limit myself on how many times I would go walking with her. I usually go with the flow and just listen (or try to ignore it). I recognize that relationships are active and therefore require tending from both sides.

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For most of us, personal growth and self-development means looking at things that make us happy, learning new skills, improving on existing ones, developing existing or new relationships. Work on things that give us an opportunity to grow and change (for the better) as a person and feel good about ourselves. However, many of us do not think that generosity is an opportunity for personal growth. On a broader aspect generosity means giving your time, knowledge and experience. It is not just about giving money, monetary gifts and donations.

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My pet peeve these days is about people who can’t stop talking about themselves, their life and just being too self-centered for their own good.

My recent experiences in dating and attempts at making new friends, has been somewhat disappointing. Not because I haven’t had that spark, that ‘chemistry’ or made any new friends, but every person I’ve shown an interest has been too self-absorbed.

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This week marked the ‘official’ end of an eight year relationship. After two years of emotional ups and downs, talking to each other only because we had to work together and of course not living together, my ex decided (with pressure from me) to cut all ties with me. My feelings towards this are numb. Oh I’m angry!! but simply because he is getting nasty about the situation and acting like he is doing me a real big favour by moving his things out of my house. I don’t think this relationship was ever meant to be, we had problems right from the start, there was never any love, we couldn’t communicate and I always felt I couldn’t grow as an individual, I felt I was living someone elses life. We both harboured the knowledge that one of us would leave but why did it take us 10 years to do it? There is a big lesson for me there and I need to get on with living my life the way I want it to be and be happy.
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I’ve never celebrated Valentine’s day,  I’ve always believed every relationship is different and you have your own ‘special day’ to celebrate your love for each other. Every relationship has an individuality to it and Valentine’s day attempts to take it away and instil particular ways and clichés to which we should follow. That is anything but romantic and a bit offensive. I am very romantic but not to order.

Maybe some relationships need a reminder to love each other and this is a day for them! But we don’t need another day geared to spend money, or to make us feel bad and guilty if we don’t celebrate, or remind us that we are single, not in a relationship. We have Christmas and New Year to remind us.

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A big problem with online dating is how people can be so different on ‘paper’ and emails, that when you meet them in person the disappointment can knock your confidence.

I met Eoin online and he came across as an understanding, sensitive and open person. The online/phone ‘chemistry’ seemed to be there and I naively thought this might workout. Believe me if you read his messages and heard a telephone conversation you would have thought this guy is worth it. When we met in person, he seemed normal – at least I thought so. We had planned to go for a walk, but going to our destination he started getting annoyed with the traffic and he decided to change the place we were going.

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