Archives for posts with tag: Love

Every two years I tend to have a crisis in my life, it can be anything from work, to relationships, health or other personal issues. At the moment it feels like nothing seems to be working out. I feel I have become like a zombie – lack of meaning in my life, not happy and not really ‘alive’. Defeat and boredom kicked in long time ago. Normally I would run away or avoid the issue. Having these symptoms is life telling me, to run again. Not in the physical sense, but to start fresh. To ignite a spark that will light a new life, with a deeper meaning, broader experience and much more fulfillment that I’ve had so far.

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This week marked the ‘official’ end of an eight year relationship. After two years of emotional ups and downs, talking to each other only because we had to work together and of course not living together, my ex decided (with pressure from me) to cut all ties with me. My feelings towards this are numb. Oh I’m angry!! but simply because he is getting nasty about the situation and acting like he is doing me a real big favour by moving his things out of my house. I don’t think this relationship was ever meant to be, we had problems right from the start, there was never any love, we couldn’t communicate and I always felt I couldn’t grow as an individual, I felt I was living someone elses life. We both harboured the knowledge that one of us would leave but why did it take us 10 years to do it? There is a big lesson for me there and I need to get on with living my life the way I want it to be and be happy.
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I’ve never celebrated Valentine’s day,  I’ve always believed every relationship is different and you have your own ‘special day’ to celebrate your love for each other. Every relationship has an individuality to it and Valentine’s day attempts to take it away and instil particular ways and clichés to which we should follow. That is anything but romantic and a bit offensive. I am very romantic but not to order.

Maybe some relationships need a reminder to love each other and this is a day for them! But we don’t need another day geared to spend money, or to make us feel bad and guilty if we don’t celebrate, or remind us that we are single, not in a relationship. We have Christmas and New Year to remind us.

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